Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
