Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
