I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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