she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
