Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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