addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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