it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
