but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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