Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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