i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize