can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
