no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
