This girl is more easily done than said...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
