You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
