i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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