I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
