Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize