with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
