Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
