That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
