i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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