like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize