Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
