is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
