Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
