You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
