I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
