We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
