Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
