turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
