Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
