If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
