Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
