hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Randomize
