Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
