Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I think people are normalizing furries
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
