if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize