you traded sex for a burrito?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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