he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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