He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize