just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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