I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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