my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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