I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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