You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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