No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
