Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You smell like a Billy Joel song
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
