piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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