you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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