You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
