I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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