Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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