I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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