so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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