I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize