You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
