There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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