You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
