Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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