Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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