He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
